That Husband Podcast

Asking My Wife To Live With My Mom Wasn't About Control: The Truth Of "Ukukotiza" | Ayanda Buthelezi

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[S2] EPISODE 20: BREAKING THE IN-LAW STIGMA
What happens when culture, marriage, and modern masculinity collide? In this deeply personal episode, we sit down with Ayanda Buthelezi to unpack the often misunderstood practice of "Ukukotiza." In this traditional Nguni custom, a new bride spends time with her in-laws to learn the rhythms, responsibilities, and expectations of married life. But this is not just about tradition—it's about identity, manhood, and the sacred in-between space where a wife is not just joining a family but shaping one.
As husbands, we often stand silently at the edge of this process. But what if our silence is costing us something? Ayanda opens up about how Ukukotiza has evolved—how some families still treat it as a rite of passage with dignity, while others risk turning it into exploitation. We reflect honestly on what it means for a man to guide, protect, and honour this season, not as a controller, but as a covering. It’s about more than chores—it’s about culture, character, and covenant.
Whether you grew up watching "Ukukotiza" from the side lines or are navigating it with your new wife today, this episode invites you to rethink your role as a husband in a culturally rich but emotionally complex tradition. This isn’t just a conversation about our wives—it’s about us, too. About how we honour her, honour our elders, and honour God in how we merge culture and covenant.
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She Was Fed Up With Church Boys, Then God Interrupted Her With Me | Kevin Makhubo

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[S2] EPISODE 19: DIVINE PLOT TWIST
Sitting across from Blaque Nubon is Kevin Makhubo—a husband, father, and man of God, who opens up about his journey from rejecting the idea of marriage to becoming a husband defined by love and sacrifice. His reflections are not polished soundbites but raw truths, soaked in years of wrestling with God, unlearning broken definitions of masculinity, and submitting to a higher calling. Kevin’s story is not just inspiring; it is deeply confronting for any man who has wondered if he has what it takes to be a present, intentional, and loving husband.
What makes this conversation especially rich is Kevin’s transparency about his relationship with his absent father. At 23, he chose to forgive a man who had wounded him not with violence, but with silence and absence. That act of forgiveness, rooted in obedience to God, unlocked a freedom that shaped the kind of husband and father Kevin would become. It's a testimony that manhood is not inherited, it’s forged. Kevin chose to become the man he never had, breaking generational pain with courageous vulnerability and relentless faith. His reconciliation with his father wasn’t about receiving closure, it was about releasing the burden so he could walk into marriage whole.
The episode also dives into the sacred messiness of marriage, how passion, playfulness, purpose, and pain coexist in a lifelong covenant. Kevin’s reflections on sex, spontaneity, spiritual alignment, and shared purpose with his wife are refreshingly honest and disarmingly insightful. This isn’t a highlight reel of a perfect marriage, it’s a living, breathing example of two people choosing each other every day, even when it costs them. His encouragement about the power of brotherhood, the importance of accountability, and the freedom that comes from open conversations, especially about sex and finances, makes this episode a gift for any man who wants to grow, not just as a husband, but as a whole person.
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Saying Vows Was Easy - Walking In Love, Honesty & Regret For 43 Years Is Something Else | The Gules

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[S2] EPISODE 18: IT’S NOT MAGIC, IT’S MAINTENANCE
In this deeply personal episode, we sit down with Drs. Jerry and Gugu Gule, a couple whose love story spans more than 43 years of marriage. From a chance encounter in a university book queue to decades of shared life, the Gules offer a rare glimpse into a covenant marked by friendship, faith, and fierce commitment. Their story is not just about longevity—it’s about intentional love, expressed through the small, ordinary moments that become extraordinary in hindsight. They show us that behind every lasting marriage are difficult conversations, the willingness to say “I’m sorry,” and the sacred act of wiping away each other’s tears—even when you’ve been the cause of them.
What makes this episode especially profound is the vulnerability and humility with which the Gules reflect on their journey. Dr. Jerry shares the painful memory of missing a key moment in their second child’s birth due to work, a regret that still weighs heavily on him. Dr. Gugu opens up about the ways in which her early life shaped a guarded, assertive posture and how Christ slowly transformed her heart toward gentleness and forgiveness. They describe how prayer, humour, and a shared commitment to reconciliation helped them navigate heartbreak, misunderstandings, and evolving needs across different seasons of marriage. Together, they model a kind of love that is deeply sacrificial, wholly authentic, and refreshingly unpretentious.
This episode is more than just a conversation—it’s a testament. A reminder that marriage, at its best, is not built on grand romantic gestures, but on the slow, steady accumulation of mutual service, grace, and laughter. For every husband and wife wondering if it’s still possible to love and be loved for a lifetime, the Gules offer hope and a blueprint. And in a world that often tells us to walk away when things get hard, this story gently insists: stay, listen, forgive, and grow together.
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Stop Chasing, Just Commit – What I Keep Learning From Loving a Good Woman | Bonko Khoza

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[S2] EPISODE 17: SHE GAVE ME FREEDOM TO FIND MY VOICE
In this episode, we sit down with the incredibly thoughtful and grounded Bonko Khoza — not just as an actor, but as a husband, father, and man who continues to wrestle honestly with what it means to show up for the people he loves. This is a conversation between husbands for husbands, where we strip back the performances and talk real about legacy, failure, oneness, sacrifice, and the quiet strength it takes to stay committed — not just to our wives, but to the kind of men we aspire to be.
We talk about the gift and weight of fatherhood, the long road of partnership, and how black men are redefining marriage not as an institution of performance, but of purpose. Bonko shares deeply about how his wife has been both his safety and mirror, and how navigating change within marriage requires humility, introspection, and a kind of teamwork that often goes unseen. This episode isn’t about perfection — it’s about persistence, vulnerability, and learning to love from a place of truth, not tradition.
If you're a husband, or hope to be one, this episode is a love letter to the sacred and messy middle of marriage. It's for those who grew up without examples and those who carry the legacy of good men. It's for the ones trying to break cycles, build homes, and do the work of becoming. As always, this space is for us — to know better so we can do better. Welcome back to That Husband Podcast.
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A Shack, A Secret & A Dream: She Stayed Even With A Leaking Roof - Jacob Msipha

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[S2] EPISODE 16: HOW FAR ARE YOU WILLING TO GO?
In this episode, we sit down with Pastor Jacob Msipha, a man whose 20-year journey through marriage and ministry defies the odds and dismantles the myths. From building a church in a leaking shack to nurturing a vibrant home, Pastor Jacob opens up about the grace, grit, and vision that have carried him through seasons of triumph and turbulence. His story is not one of perfection, but of relentless faith and deeply intentional love. If you've ever questioned whether favour follows marriage, this conversation will challenge and uplift you.
We unpack what it means to be a husband—not just in title, but in spirit, vision, and responsibility. With humility and wisdom, Pastor Jacob reflects on the importance of vision-casting in marriage, the power of vulnerability, and how trust in God becomes the anchor when clarity fades. He doesn't shy away from the hard moments—those when depression, doubt, or silence from heaven fill the room—but he reminds us that the strength of a marriage often lies not in answers, but in who we become while waiting for them.
More than a podcast episode, this is a masterclass in building: building marriages, building families, and building legacy. Whether you're newly married, a decade in, or still wrestling with what partnership looks like, Pastor Jacob’s reflections will meet you where you are. Tune in, take notes, and be reminded—this isn't about becoming superheroes; it's about showing up, every day, and choosing to build anyway.
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I Was A Christian Leader, Then I Got Her Pregnant - Lebohang Mohoera (fixed audio)

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[S2] EPISODE 15: REALITY CHECK!
In this raw and soul-baring episode, we sit down with Lebo—a young man, a youth leader, a soon-to-be husband—who opens up about the most sobering season of his life. From preaching on the streets, to falling in love with a woman he dreamed of marrying, Lebo takes us through a journey marked by conviction, love, and an unexpected pregnancy. What unfolds is not just a story of “crossing the line” but one of wrestling with leadership, identity, and faith under the weight of public failure.
This isn't your typical testimony. It’s the emotional unpacking of what it means to own your mistakes, not just privately but publicly—before your church, your family, your peers, and the very youth you were leading. Lebo doesn’t run from his role as a man; instead, he leans into it, bearing the full weight of accountability and finding unexpected strength in the process. In a world where ghosting responsibility is the norm, this is a call back to staying—when it’s hardest, most humiliating, and when the stakes couldn’t be higher.
Whether you’re a man struggling with hidden shame, a couple navigating blurry lines, or someone needing a reminder that grace isn’t just an idea but a lived reality, this episode will meet you in the thick of it. It’s unfiltered, reflective, and redemptive—and ultimately, it’s about a man who slipped on the job but didn’t stay down. This is what it looks like to lead even when you’re broken.
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I Want To Do Marriage Right, But No One Is Showing Men How - Manelisi Mdaka

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[S2] EPISODE 14: MARRIAGE GATEKEEPERS
I sat across the table from a man who's about to get married in four months—and what followed was one of the most honest conversations I've ever had on this podcast. He didn’t come with clichés or curated answers. He came with questions. Real ones. The kind that strip the fantasy from marriage and ask what’s actually underneath. Why marriage? Why her? What’s it supposed to shape in us as men? And how do we know we’re not walking into this thing with more ambition than understanding?
In this episode, I don’t come as an expert, but as a husband still learning—still being chiseled. Together, we talk about what marriage reveals about God, about ourselves, and about the kind of love that refuses to quit. We wrestle with the weight of commitment, the humility that comes when your spouse sees the real you, and the joy that can only be found when two sinners choose to stay. We talk interracial love, long-distance strain, friendship before romance, and the terrifying beauty of becoming like Jesus through covenant love.
If you're a man trying to make sense of marriage—whether you're single, dating, engaged, or already in it—this conversation is for you. It’s not polished. It’s not perfect. But it’s real. And if you’re anything like us, you’ll walk away from this episode a little more honest, a little more hopeful, and a little more willing to become the man marriage is calling you to be. Hit play. Let’s talk.
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Broke, Two Babies & Getting Evicted: How Rock Bottom Built My Marriage - Lindo Zindela

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[S2] EPISODE 13: MARRIED BROKE, BUILD RICH
What does it mean to be a “present man” in a world pulling you in every direction? In this heart-stirring episode of That Husband Podcast, we sit down with Lindo ( ⁨@TheZindelas⁩  ) husband, father, and creative force—whose story is as sobering as it is inspiring. From a bachelor pad with no diapers to a home overflowing with love and purpose, Lindo walks us through the gritty journey of finding himself while choosing his wife, his kids, and his calling every single day.
This episode is for the husbands who are tired of pretending, the men who feel the weight of legacy, and the brothers who are navigating the blurry line between becoming their fathers or forging something new. Lindo speaks candidly about growing up with a present but traditional father, the life-changing year he spent with a nurturing uncle, and how learning to embrace both lion and lamb taught him to lead with softness and strength. Together, we explore the power of knowing who you are, why your marriage might not be the problem—it might be your own identity crisis—and how a wife’s quiet support can be the loudest miracle in a man’s life.
This isn’t just a podcast—it’s a mirror. One that reminds us we’re not lazy for starting and stopping; we’re just on a different kind of journey. If you’ve ever wondered whether you're enough, whether your family sees your effort, or whether love really can change the narrative—we invite you to pull up a chair. Welcome to That Husband Podcast: where we give marriage the PR it actually deserves.
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9 Years Sober, 2 Months Married - Hope For The Broken Man - Codi van der Merwe

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[S2] EPISODE 12: RECOVERY HAS BROUGHT STRUCTURE TO MY LEADERSHIP
In this heartfelt and hilarious episode of That Husband Podcast, Blaque sits down with newlywed Codi van der Merwe—just two months into marriage but already deep in the thick of it. From garlic debates in the kitchen to learning how to simply sit and watch your wife's favourite show, Codi opens up about the joy and humility marriage brings. Together, they explore the raw question: What is a husband? Codi’s answer is honest, refreshing, and packed with lessons from his journey of recovery, routine, and learning to lead with love.
The episode doesn’t just stay lighthearted—it dives deep. Codi shares openly about his past struggles with addiction, what nine years of sobriety has taught him, and how his structured lifestyle has shaped the early rhythms of his marriage. Blaque and Codi unpack how spiritual dryness, emotional distance, and selfish habits often start with missing the “small signs.” This conversation is an invitation for husbands to be more present, more self-aware, and more in tune with their wives—before the garlic turns into something greater.
If you’re married, newlywed, or wondering what it really means to show up as a husband, this episode will leave you encouraged, challenged, and laughing. Whether you’re fighting over Forensic Files vs. Bongile or navigating real pain like addiction and healing—this one’s for you. Don’t forget to hit subscribe, leave a comment, and share this with a husband who needs to hear it.
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When “For Better or Worse” Becomes Real: Loving Through The Storm Of Mental Illness - Lesego Thulo

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[S2] EPISODE 11: THE FIGHT FOR MY WIFE AND HER MIND
What happens when the person you married isn’t the same person you wake up to every morning? In this deeply personal episode of That Husband Podcast, we sit down with Lesego to unpack the raw realities of marriage when mental health challenges, life changes, and deep personal growth redefine the journey. From navigating the unexpected diagnosis of bipolar disorder in his wife to understanding what true headship looks like in the face of uncertainty, Lesego shares his story with honesty, vulnerability, and wisdom.
Together, we explore the evolving nature of marriage—how love isn’t about fixing your spouse but walking with them through every season. We talk about the importance of routines in mental health, the silent battles husbands face, and why real leadership in marriage is about humility, sacrifice, and showing up every day. If you’ve ever wondered how to love your spouse when the road gets tough, this episode will challenge and encourage you.
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